Person Woman Man Camera TV

 Anyone who follows USA politics will recognise the title to this piece; it was supposedly a part of Mr Trump's Montreal Cognitive assessment.  When I was working in a psychiatric facility people were asked to punctuate the phrase "no ifs ands or buts" which, in my opinion is a trick question because the "and" stands in place for a comma and therefore a capital at the beginning and a full stop at the end would be sufficient but I think that the I was asked to read and recall the words when I did the test so maybe a couple of Oxford commas would suffice.

However, we are on the subject of cognition and last Saturday D2 and SIL came here with jump leads and trickle charger to try to get D2's silver classic Porsche up and running.

For years I have been babysitting a varying number of D2's classic cars, two Porsches and a classic VeeDub. A few weeks go the order went out that the secure parking to the Apartments was scheduled for cleaning and all cars needed to be removed for the duration.  As the silver Porsche which I was minding had a flat battery D2 brought the battery from the red Porsche which did not fit the slot but she connected it anyway and as the battery was in the boot (which is at the front) there was plenty of room for it.  All went to plan, the car was relocated for 24 hours and then back into my parking slot.

However, trouble struck when she came to return the batteries to their rightful cars; the bonnet had jammed the battery was flat and she was not able to do the exchange.  She consulted SIL who had two suggestions:  (1) recharge the battery through the cigarette lighter or (2) attempt to jump-start the car since the motor was in the back and therefore accessible.  I should add here that access to the residents' parking is via tight corners and a steep, narrow tight curve with no room for a flat-back truck and towing is illegal.

Shortly after these desperate attempts were to be tried they came back up to my apartment and told me that all had been fixed the batteries had been changed over and the car was operating just fine.

In trying to open the bonnet, D2 had been pulling the wrong lever.

The Limerick:-

I have posted this before but it is very clever.  This Limerick was posted in the Classified Ads of a London paper and it was a while before the public penny dropped:-

An Anglican curate in want of a second-hand portable font would exchange for the same a portrait (in frame) of the bishop-elect of Vermont.

A little Less light Now.

 I have fixed the blinking light on my fixed-line phone.  Once again I had to search the internet, ask pointed questions and then choose the simplest solution which worked and now I have the proper steady light which blinks only when the phone rings.  Not that it has rung very often and mostly it is people trying to persuade me that there is something wrong with my internet connection.  Since there were a couple of unanswered calls registered and which my phone identified by their number I was able to trace the calls to China, which figures, from the accent of the "technician".

For some reason all the cold calling spammers are convinced that Telstra rules the phone lines and that Telstra is going to disconnect my landline within 24 hours.  They do not seem to have realised that Telstra is not wireless and that if the telco disconnects my cables they would be cutting off the internet which they would be providing.

And my new mobile phone ran out of charge and would not re-boot once charged.  The only thing which the "how to" manual actually gives information about is how to turn it on again if it becomes unresponsive and that worked as well so I am learning all manner of new skills.  It has all been something of a wild ride and all I now have to document is how to delete the unanswered calls on my landline phone.  I have already done it twice but it is all a bit hit and miss so I need to write it down to fix it firmly in my mind.

Hopefully my final hurdle will be next week when I have to turn off my "computer" (for that read modem) for three consecutive nights while technicians check the connections of the shops below.  I used to turn off my last modem with gay abandon whenever a thunderstorm was in the offing but after the last few weeks I do not trust the new one to behave itself when I turn it  on again. That is an indication of how bruised I feel since the NBN was installed but I can always call Techie to fix it again.

The Limerick:-

Of a wounded war hero I sing

Coming home from the war in the spring:

Oh, he may have been lame

But he came just the same,

A discharge is a wonderful thing!