Person Woman Man Camera TV

 Anyone who follows USA politics will recognise the title to this piece; it was supposedly a part of Mr Trump's Montreal Cognitive assessment.  When I was working in a psychiatric facility people were asked to punctuate the phrase "no ifs ands or buts" which, in my opinion is a trick question because the "and" stands in place for a comma and therefore a capital at the beginning and a full stop at the end would be sufficient but I think that the I was asked to read and recall the words when I did the test so maybe a couple of Oxford commas would suffice.

However, we are on the subject of cognition and last Saturday D2 and SIL came here with jump leads and trickle charger to try to get D2's silver classic Porsche up and running.

For years I have been babysitting a varying number of D2's classic cars, two Porsches and a classic VeeDub. A few weeks go the order went out that the secure parking to the Apartments was scheduled for cleaning and all cars needed to be removed for the duration.  As the silver Porsche which I was minding had a flat battery D2 brought the battery from the red Porsche which did not fit the slot but she connected it anyway and as the battery was in the boot (which is at the front) there was plenty of room for it.  All went to plan, the car was relocated for 24 hours and then back into my parking slot.

However, trouble struck when she came to return the batteries to their rightful cars; the bonnet had jammed the battery was flat and she was not able to do the exchange.  She consulted SIL who had two suggestions:  (1) recharge the battery through the cigarette lighter or (2) attempt to jump-start the car since the motor was in the back and therefore accessible.  I should add here that access to the residents' parking is via tight corners and a steep, narrow tight curve with no room for a flat-back truck and towing is illegal.

Shortly after these desperate attempts were to be tried they came back up to my apartment and told me that all had been fixed the batteries had been changed over and the car was operating just fine.

In trying to open the bonnet, D2 had been pulling the wrong lever.

The Limerick:-

I have posted this before but it is very clever.  This Limerick was posted in the Classified Ads of a London paper and it was a while before the public penny dropped:-

An Anglican curate in want of a second-hand portable font would exchange for the same a portrait (in frame) of the bishop-elect of Vermont.