Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Grrrrrrr. . . !

D1 flew back to Sydney just in time before I quietly strangled her and stuffed her down the rubbish chute.  She has been mansplaining to me and a) she is not a man, b) she is my daughter and c) I know that it is possible to run the dishwasher when it is half-empty but I did not want to as I was pottering while getting things ready for Christmas and generating the odd thing as I went.

We had Christmas in the evening which was rather nice and gave me a lot more time to potter instead of the usual rush to get things done.  This was on account of D2 had volunteered to work and was not free until, officially, 6.00pm.

D3 and family arrived quite early and GB1 and GB2 spent some time in the little pool attached to my block of the apartment complex. There is a big pool over the other side and one day I might remember to tell them that they are allowed to go over and use it if they wish.

Anyway  -  I now have a great deal of washing to do and the washing machine is starting to object to too many towels at once and I need to get the bearings checked.  After I told D1 this she told me that my washing machine bearings needed fixing.  Mansplaining again: I was using washing machines when she was in nappies and the bearings and hoses are always an issue eventually.

And she tore one of my sheets which, admittedly was about 20 years old and due to be superannuated anyway  -  and the sales started today so I went downstairs and bought three half-priced bedding sets.

The reason I didn't strangle her was that she gave me a beautiful book of knitted lace patterns which I am dying to try  -  but I will finish knitting the purple possum sweater first  -  it will be an incentive for me to finish it faster.  I was aiming for next winter but might move the finish time forward and knit a lacy scarf from my new book.

The limerick:-

There was an old man in a hearse
Who murmered, "This might have been worse;
Of course the expense
Is simply immense,
But it doesn't come out of my purse."

Monday, December 10, 2018

Boomerang Drone Post Script

A few weeks ago I stated that the affair of The Drone was closed.  However  two days ago I hosted a dinner for D2’s birthday.  Attending were D3,  D3’s husband and the Grand Babies, GB1 and GB2,
GB1 has just finished school and is one of those kids who is not all that good with words but brilliant with subjects like maths and physics as well as sailing since he is clever at reading wind and waves.  He is the person I passed the drone to as I knew that, while I quite failed to get the thing flying, he would be able to get it up in the air; which he did.  And he brought it with him to the birthday party.
It is noisy, emitting a loud buzzing noise interspersed with beeps and flashing lights.  Parsifal, who I had bought it for, was not impressed and took himself off to his bed in the cats’ safe place  -  the master suite  -  and I didn’t see him again until about midday the next day.  I was very happy that I had passed it on to GB1. Parsifal normally loves to meet and greet visitors but he said that he wasn't going to emerge until that thing was removed.
However, its life is short and sweet; two if its propellers have broken and GB1 has no more replacements, having used the spares provided for necessary repairs.  I can’t say that I am sorry about that  -  I certainly do not want to see it again either although I was impressed with the acrobatics which GB1 was able to coax out of it.
So that is the very last word on the drone.
Instead of taking my knitting along to the Tuesday group last week I decided to bite the bullet and finish the repairs to the hand block-printed tablecloth which I bought in Iran back in 2006.  It had little tassels all the way round and Parsifal, during his cord-eating phase, ate all which he could reach when I foolishly left it on the table.  They were cotton and therefore digestible so I wasn’t fussed but it quite spoilt the table cloth and I had been meaning to replace them.  The string was easy but twisting it into a fringe was a different matter as there are a large number.
I went online and discovered a fringe twister sold by Ashford, the spinning wheel suppliers in New Zealand so I ordered one and after trying to work out how to do the twists I put it aside until last week when I took it along to the group in lieu of my knitting and started on the twists.  Since then I have threaded in the cotton and today I finished doing the twists.  Tomorrow I will trim the dangling ends and after putting it all through the washing machine hopefully the new twists will match the few original ones left because Parsifal was not able to reach them, still being a kitten at the time.

It is nearly Christmas but I received one piece of good news today -

"We write regarding the electricity consumption notices for your apartment at . . Residences. 
Unfortunately, the meter reading system has failed to provide us with a reading for some meters at the complex, including the one for your apartment. Therefore, you will not be invoiced for electricity consumption until the meter reading system has been repaired."
And the Limerick:-

A prolific young mother named Hall
Who seemed to have triplets each Fall,
When asked why and wherefore
Said, "That's what we're here for,
But we often get nothing at all."





Monday, December 3, 2018

Gazumped

A couple of weeks ago I started playing an online game called Minesweeper which, for anyone who is not familiar with it is a logic game with a big element of guesswork at times.  Perhaps as I become more proficient there will be less guesswork and more logic.

However, about a week ago I finished a game (I am wining more and more as I get familiar with it) and Apple flashed up a message to tell me that I had finished the basic game faster than anyone else playing the basic game.  It wanted my name for some honour site which I have yet to locate.  Last night I did it again; fastest finish in the elementary level.  Have I beaten my own score?

Poppy has now been on anti-inflammatory medication for about two weeks and she is a new cat.  the poor little girl must have been in a lot of pain.  Now she is playing with Parsifal more than fighting him and she is carrying her flag upright instead of at half mast.  It is nice to see her so happy but she has had health problems for most of her life so I am not confident that she will live happily ever after.  It is fingernail trimming next weekend and we will see then if the pain from her arthritis is diminished.

Friday is D2's birthday which will be celebrated Chez minnie on Saturday evening.  D3 is bringing the main course and because her whole family is gluten/dairy sensitive I have ordered a G/D free orange and almond cake for dessert.  D2 has told me that she wants a sultana caramel pudding and argues that as it is her birthday she has a right to have what she wants.  Of course it is neither gluten nor dairy free.  It is an argument hard to counter so I am going to have to provide one dessert for her and one for the rest of the party.  Grrrrr . . .

I have finally got serious about my beautiful block printed tablecloth which I bought in Iran and which Parsifal, when he was a kitten, ate most of the fringe.  So I have started replacing the parts of the fringe where he chewed the bottoms off.  Fortunately each little tassel is unconnected with its neighbours so the original tassels which he was not able to reach are still there as a guide to the replacements.  It is a long, slow job and I have been putting it off for seven years: it is high time I sorted it.

The limerick:-
This is one of my favourites.

There was a young girl from St. Cyr
Whose reflex reactions were queer.
Her escort said, 'Mabel
Get up of the table;
That money's to pay for the beer.'

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Busy, Busy, Busy.

I have just looked at my calendar for next week and I have something on every day and it is not going to get any better as we wind up to Christmas.

On the subject of busy I have saved a quote from Rachel Maddow on the subject.  I saved it because in made me burst out laughing.  Sarcasm will get you almost anywhere, even onto my blog.  It relates to Donald Trump's non-visit to the Arlington Memorial:


"As for the president being “extremely busy” on Veterans Day, his official White House schedule included no events.

Trump also found time last Monday to publish plenty of tweets, including missives demanding Florida officials stop counting lawful ballots and blaming Democrats for recent stock market losses.

I don’t doubt he was at least somewhat busy – the president’s television isn’t going to watch itself – but the idea that Trump couldn’t have taken some time to do what presidents do on Veterans Day is very hard to take seriously."

I have had my 'seniors' check' which I hope that I passed  -  but my doctor informed me as I went out the door, that I have weak legs.  She didn't test them and I am seriously annoyed and will show her how to muscle test and throw in how to test for balance for good measure.  Last time I looked, the most common cause of fractured neck of femur was elderly people getting up in the dark in the middle of the night to spend a penny.

I can actually remember back to a time when to spend a penny was a reality.  There was a shop in Adelaide, South Australia, where a penny in the slot opened the door to the cubicle.  The store was Miller Andersons and it may still be there.  I know that the doors were kept (probably heritage listed) and one acquired the necessary penny from the attendant.  I do not suppose that there are attendants any more either.  FYO  -  I do not live in South Australia and did not set out to find antique public toilets last time I was there.

And now the limerick:-

There was a young lady of Condover
Whose husband had ceased to be fond of her.
He could not forget
He had wooed a brunette
But peroxide had now made a blonde of her.

Friday, November 16, 2018

Christmas Comes, Thankfully, but Once a Year

My tooth has been filled.  It was such a huge cavity that I didn't think that it would be possible but it is done and dusted and only took an hour so I managed the string bag knitting workshop where I knitted my eternal scarf which is what I fall back on when I do not want to knit something where I have to keep count of rows or stitches.  String bags I do not need; I have more bags than I could possibly use already.

So now I have to think about Christmas.  It is my turn to have the family on Christmas Day although D2 is working.  The menu is the same every year  -  potato salad and trifle although D3 and family cannot eat the trifle because of milk protein and gluten sensitivities.  D3 brings dessert for her family but I have been told about a delicious orange and almond cake and thought that I might buy one for the D3s and anyone else who wants a piece.

I seem to be spending more and more time at my computer reading about the goings-on in USA and The United Kingdom.  We are not doing all that well here at present either but things look as though they are about to really blow up in UK and USA

Poppy is back on anti-inflammatory medication and is much more settled and so far this evening there have been no spats.  Parsifal goes riding in the kitty carriage most days and is very vocal when he wants to go out.  I am meeting some interesting people who stop to talk.  There is the nice man who sells "The Big Issue" and who has a cat at home but has a toy cat in his trolley.  I run into him quite often and today I met a man wearing a crown.  I had a feeling that he and his friend were from the hostel over the railway line but I am only guessing.

As you can see, I have done very little and need to get back to crossing items off my bucket list of things which I have been putting off  -  such as calling in an electrician to replace all the lights which have failed, about half a dozen at last count.  I keep putting it off because I think that the light in my study is about to fail  - but the power to the area has been upgraded and flickering has stopped.  And getting the fridge door adjusted.

The limerick:-

This one was, according to my book, written by the Reverend Charles Inge.

A Lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant's whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
Or wave it about, 
Or the others will all want one too."


Sunday, November 11, 2018

Just When . . .

After a couple of weeks of something happening most days I thought that I finally had a clear view of this next week.  Too bad that on Friday one of my fillings fell out into my muesli and the first appointment to see my dentists is tomorrow lunch time which is, sadly, going to clash with my knitting group although I will probably manage it albeit late.

There is going to be a workshop on knitting string bags which I do not need so I am not missing a lot.  Living over the top of a shopping centre containing two supermarkets I simply load my groceries back into the trolley and wheel it all upstairs.

Last week I had to have a physical check-up and a 'seniors' mental assessment very similar to the one which Donald Trump insisted on to prove that he is not dementing.  His was on paper and on-line so that he could learn the answers but although mine was similar it was random questions which hopped all over the place so that I didn't know if they were going to throw a curve ball next time around.

I got one wrong that I know of; asked the date I managed the year and the month but fell down on the date.  I have been so fixated in November 6th (Americans will relate to that) that I said the sixth instead of the eighth.  I was able to confidently repeat the phrase "No ands ifs or buts" because it was used where I used to work, I had to spell 'world' backwards and write a sentence.  I cheated there by using a line from a poem so it was in my long-term memory but I have no problem writing sentences or I would not be writing this blog.  And no serial sevens; that is one which I practise when I can't sleep  -  a bit like counting sheep.

D1 flew over for a couple of days to attend S/W's birthday and walked off with my shower cap but she will be back for Christmas.  I went out and bought a new one today.  It was needed anyway.

The limerick:-

There was a young maiden from Multerry,
Whose knowledge of life was desultory;
She explained, like a sage,
"Adolescence?  The stage
Between puberty and - er - adultery."

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

All Clear

The results of the scan I had last week show that everything is normal.  The ultrasound technician was correct.  Never underestimate technicians -  especially from New Zealand  -  they often see more than the doctors and soon learn to interpret their own scans.

Today I had four nuisance calls on my personal alarm before lunch so I phoned the personal alarm help line who was not able to give me any help except to tell me to press the SOS button to cancel the call.  All well and good but I have to dig it out from under all my clothes which is not a good look when I am out having coffee with D3 and SIL.  I asked if there are many complaints about nuisance calls, was told 'no, not many' and realised why.  The man suggested that I ask the telemarketer to cross me off the list. Jear Desus!

I have lifted that expletive from a funny video lesson on learning to knit.  The man who created it seems to have made a fair number of "how to" videos and I will be following them up.

I was still getting dressed this morning (having been woken up by the first nuisance call) when I received a call from D3 to say that she and SIL were downstairs and would I like to join them for coffee so with that nice start to the day and the news of the scan results at the end of the day, all in all it has been good.  

The weather is predicted to warm up over the next few days so hopefully, now that I do not need biopsies or other invasive procedures, I will be out around the lake soaking up all that vitamin D.  Summer is finally getting here.

Yesterday was D1's birthday and she is getting older than I would like to think that any of my daughters are, GB1 had his end of formal school ceremony last night and my internet server turned 25, also yesterday.  I thought that I had been on the internet for longer than that so it was something of a surprise. A big day, yesterday.

The limerick:-

There was a young lady of Louth
Who returned from a trip to the South.
Her father said, 'Nelly,
There's more in your belly
Than ever went in by your mouth."

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Today I am wearing my comma police hat.

I visit Facebook every day and the thing which strikes me often is the proliferation of meaningless commas scattered throughout the posts.  I found this meme today and felt that it was memorable for the sheer number of unnecessary commas.

"About marihuana, the people that don't smoke it won't start, just because it is legal.  The people that do, will help pay taxes, and buy more munchies, to help the economy."

I counted four unnecessary commas in that short passage.  Another gripe (and here I get onto my hobbyhorse) is the use of 'that' instead of 'who' or 'which'.  But I digress. . .

Another gripe:  if you are tweeting and have a limited number of characters per tweet it seems to me that not using the 'F' word would give you four extra characters for every time you don't use it.  And is it necessary in every Facebook post?

OK  -  so I am in a bad mood.  It is now a week since I had my mammogram and no feedback so far.

I have been trying to re-educate the cats to their harnesses with a view to taking them out to the park in their Kitty Carriage and letting them have a little run on the grass.  Poppy is happy to wear her harness but gets seriously upset if I take her out for a walk and we have about 24 hours of hissing and spitting at Parsifal.  He, on the other hand, enjoys going out and meeting and greeting but today was cold and windy and he didn't like it although he had asked to be taken out.  

For some reason he is upset and noisy today.  I wish that he could talk and tell me what is wrong but although he has an extensive vocabulary that is, sadly, beyond even a very clever cat.

The Limerick:-

Rosalina, a pretty young lass
Had a truly magnificent ass:
Not rounded and pink,
As you possibly think -
It was grey, had long ears and ate grass.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Boomerang Drone Mk. 5 - final post on the subject

My grandson has managed to get the cat drone working (I suspected that he would manage to do so) and is, according to his mother, having great fun with it so I am glad that it has gone to a good home after all the trauma.  I will not be on-line shopping at that site anymore and have notified them of my decision.

I had my mammogram five days ago and now have to wait (and wait) for the verdict to get to know if I am clear or if I will need biopsies to confirm whether I have breast cancer or not  -  again. I've been there and done that before and so far I have been lucky.  Long may it last but I am not holding my breath.

I have started taking the cats out for trips in the Kitty Carriage to socialise them and maybe make it easier to get them to and from the vet with me and Dr. L still in one piece.  I have sedatives to give them now but more exposure to the outside world should be good for them.  Parsifal enjoys the outings and sits at the front door and shouts that he wants to go out.  Today I put his harness on and let him out to explore.  He was wary in the town square but enjoyed his visit to Zoo which is a shop which sells all things pet  -  but not the pets themselves.

I took both of them out together a few days ago and Poppy reacted violently, spitting and growling at Parsifal for about 24 hours afterwards so I am going to have to take them separately until she gets more used to being out of her comfort zone and then try putting her harness on, although, in the past she never ventured out of the Kitty Carriage.  I can cope with that, it is the socialisation and new environment which she needs. Even when I have visitors to the apartment she tends to disappear into the Master Suite which is her safe place.

The Limerick:-

I once thought a lot of a friend
Who turned out to be in the end
The southernmost part
(As I'd feared from the start)
Of a horse with a northerly trend.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Today is my cats' seventh birthday

Yesterday I went to the doctor because she wanted to check on the lesions which she has frozen off my skin and while I was there she decided that I was due for another mammogram and checked me out only to find a lump so I am off to have a scan on Monday.  I have already had one false reading and hope that this will turn out to be the same but am not holding my breath.  A diagnosis of breast cancer would be, for me, a huge lifestyle change with the probable cessation of HRT and back to hot flushes.

I walked around the lake again this morning and this time I think that my pedometer gave an accurate reading.  It measured 4.23km which would give me a walking speed of about 5 km/hour which I suspect is just about right.  I went out early because the sky looked like imminent rain.  It still looks like rain but it hasn't happened yet.

The last time I went over to the park I looked for the pink orchid but was unable to find it.  Today, with more specific instructions I did find it.  A biggish clump with only one rather weary-looking flower so it may be getting a bit late in the season.  Hopefully I will be able to find it again next year when it is flowering more enthusiastically.

Looking around for something to entertain me I wondered if the local library might like a genealogy helper but found that there is already two hours per month of tuition which has to be booked.  I will speak to the Head Librarian when I am over the mammogram and probable biopsy and whatever follows from there.  I went to a free on-line program and put in the details of my parents and grandparents and was told that the program could now add over 70 more names.  That is no fun!!  I enjoy the hunt and find of genealogy research and to have some online program lift all those names from my proper family tree was cheating.

With a view to acclimatising the cats to the Kitty Carriage and all its works I took Parsifal for a quick trot around Claremont a few nights ago.  He seemed to enjoy it once he realised that we were heading in the opposite direction to the Vet.  Poppy hid under the bed.

The Limerick:-

There is an author's comment attached to this one;
"Somewhat off-colour  -  and the only such limerick that Langdon Reed ever allowed to appear in any of his many books.  It's to be feared that Reed did not get the pun in the last line."

There was a young fellow named Hyde
Who fell down a privy and died.
His unfortunate brother
Then fell down another,
And now they're interred side by side.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Boomerang Drone Mk. 4

The eagle has landed!

The drone was dropped off at the Post Office today and a notification was emailed to me.  A.D. from Amazinglycats.com told me that she had added some glitter balls to thank me for my patience but . . . the original glitch was that I neglected to put my Apartment Number in my address.  I emailed a correction before any despatch was possible but it arrived in Australia and was returned due to insufficient address.  

I paid to have it re-posted and iterated the correct address.  That was three months ago and it arrived today still with the wrong address but it had instructions to deliver it to the nearest Post Office and my telephone number was also on the label so besides sending it back to sender there were two alternatives to get the drone delivered.

So my insufficient postal address now seems to be fixed in concrete and anything else I buy from that company is going to face the same problem.  And if the drone doesn't work with fresh batteries it is a double reason to look elsewhere for cat toys.

Anyway, I have charged up the drone itself and put batteries into the control but the batteries may be old because there is a blinking light and no lift-off.  I will buy new batteries and try again after which I will turn it over to my grandson to see if he can get it going.

Parsifal appears to have had an intestinal blockage and was not happy about the Vet examining him so he ripped up my arm.  Things are moving again and I now have supply of tranquilisers just in case.  They are due for their annual physical early next year and I am not looking forward to it; nor is their vet.  I suggested taking the cats for visits to acclimatise them to the premises and found that many pet owners do that, especially dog owners.  They just sit in the waiting room for while and then leave so that is what I will be doing.

The Limerick:-

Concerning the bees and the flowers
In the fields and the gardens and bowers,
You will note at a glance
That their ways of romance
Haven't any resemblance to ours.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Why do I stick with Microsoft?

About ten days ago MS Word began to refuse to allow editing.  I went on-line and was told that for once it wasn't Microsoft's fault and that I would have to reload my Office 16.  When I went to Programs and Features I found that I had two versions of MS Office 16 and that both of them had been installed on 16-9-2018  -  nine day ago which is about when I started having problems.  So which one was I supposed to delete and re-load.  I decided to call Techie for help and advice but with a long weekend coming up and probably others with the same problem (a quick look on-line emphasized this supposition) I decided to wait.

I thought that at least I could try to sort it myself and Techie could clear up the mess I left.  So I copied the instructions for sorting the problem  -  not a download but an adjustment.  The instructions:

"Go to developer tab  File>Options>Customise Ribbon and select Developer.  In Protection group go to Document Protection.  Navigate to bottom of panel and click 'stop protection'."

Hmmmm   -  I couldn't find 'stop protection' so decided on my original plan of getting Techie to fix it.

I went back to an MS Word document and at the top were three words only  "File" "Save" and something I do not remember, probably 'Cancel' or 'Delete'.  I clicked on 'File' and suddenly I had all the editing tools back again not just for that particular document but for all my MS Word documents.  Don't ask;  I do not know! 

 BTW  Microsoft has extended the use of Office 16 to 2025 so I have some leeway until I am forced to buy a subscription version of MS Office.  This is just a 'by-the-way' for other Office16 users.

Parsifal is still vomiting a bit  -  well, this morning  -  but is eating and drinking so I will sit it out unless things get critical again.

Today's Limerick:-

"Well Madam," the Bishop declared, 
While the vicar just mumbled and stared,
" 'Twere better, perhaps
In the crypt or the apse,
Because sex in the nave must be shared."

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Double Trouble

I have had a fairly fraught week with the cats. Spring is here and they are both moulting and on Monday night (today is Saturday here in Australia) Parsifal brought up ALL of his dinner.  Luckily I managed to get a rubber flipflap underneath and that caught most of it and I was able to wash it off, but then he spent the rest of the night throwing up all over the apartment and I had to spend all of Tuesday morning cleaning the carpets.

Then I realised that neither of them had been using their litter boxes so I took Parsifal to the vet where he gave me a nasty scratch in the wrist and refused to let the vet near him so I just had to wait it out and hope.  Neither of them ate anything for days but last night they started drinking and finally their insides started working again and they are now much happier little cats and have been sleeping bigly.

Yesterday I received an email saying that a parcel had been held up at Customs and I needed to identify myself and describe in detail what was in the package.  I phoned the number given and they already knew who I was so I didn't have to identify myself further but there lay the rub.  I have three outstanding e-parcels and none of them was being delivered by the designated courier so I took a stab at the missing drone, only to realise that the parcel was, according to the person I spoke to, coming from England so it had to be the silk flowers from 'Museum Selection'.  I cannot imagine such a reputable site would be sending me drugs or explosives so goodness knows if I will get my flowers.

Today was wonderfully warm and was the opening day of the Royal Agricultural Show so the RAS must have some special relationship with the weather gods because the last week has been VERY chilly.  The Show is held just down the road from where I live so there will be more people and more cars but I imagine that, long weekend or not, all the shops will remain open to catch the passing trade.

The Limerick:-

A book and a jug and a dame,
And a nice cozy nook for the same;
'And I don't care a damn,'
Said Omar Khayyam,
'What you say, it's a great little game.'

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Boomerang Drone Mk. 3

A couple of days ago I once again filled in the "contact us" form for the cats' drone supplier stating that I realised that I was not going to see the drone any time in the future, that according to the supplier's tracking it had been sitting at a depot since July 7th awaiting collection to be sent on to me and I had given up trying to follow it up.

So imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to an email apologising for the delay in reply to my message of July 27th and that they would be going through their back records to see if my purchase could be located.  What I did not say in my message was that I had already searched out another cat toy supplier although, once bitten, I was not going to spend up big to any company which had not proven itself although, to do this supplier justice mine was the initial mistake and the problem came with the mechanism of re-sending it once it had returned to sender.

I have been walking around Lake Claremont most mornings and yesterday invested in a pedometer which tells me that from my apartment, around the Lake and home again is close to 6.5km, burns 208 calories and takes 4,378 steps.  I now have three sequined peaked caps and there are a couple more which I have my eye on.  My theory about lost things is that as soon as I replace them the originals re-appear but so far my iinet and Make Australia Great Again caps have not surfaced.

Today was that day which the whole household dreads  -  the clipping of claws.  This has to be done every three weeks which seems to be the longest I can leave them before they are uncomfortable for the cats.  They always seem to be happy after the event but that might be simply because they know that it will be some time before it has to be done again.  Parsifal is no problem but Poppy has arthritis in her left arm and has to be muzzled and wrapped in a towel to save both of us from being injured.

Spring is definitely here but the mornings are very cold and clear so I need to walk briskly to keep warm.  Everyone else I meet seems to be rugged up but I found, in the olden days when I walked along the beachfront every morning, that I do not feel cold if I walk fast enough; and I absorb all that extra Vitamin D.

The limerick:-

There was a young peasant named Gorse
Who fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion
That horse is a stallion  -
This constitutes grounds for divorce."

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Fear!

I have just begun reading a digital copy of "Fear" by Bob Woodward but so far I am a bit lost; so many of the people mentioned in the early part of the book were long gone before I managed to get interested in American politics.  I imagine that I will catch up eventually.

I became hooked on US politics when I was not well for a while, spent an inordinate amount of time on my computer and discovered Rachel Maddow and a variety of stand-up comedians.  Now I am spending an inordinate amount of time on my computer, have read Fire and Fury and James Comey's book  -  I've forgotten its name; forgettable book.

Now I am hanging out for the Midterms and hope that I will not be disappointed by the results.  Meanwhile I spend a fair amount of time wondering about Americans and their beliefs and thought processes  -  they seem to be so different from ours.

I have, so far, had mixed results after having both wrists injected with cortisone.  I start to think that there has been no result at all until I start to list the things which no longer hurt.  They are little things but nevertheless they are good.  I can now do up my bra without pain, switch on and off my electric toothbrush, squeeze the toothpaste tube, dry between my toes and so the list goes on.  It still hurts to hold a pen and I haven't tried to do the ironing yet but I'll have to brave the beast soon or buy some new clothes.

With the coming of spring I have started walking for an hour over in the parkland on the other side of the railway line and am back to meditating twice per day.  I have discovered a shop which sells quirky peaked caps for $20 each and so far have bought two and am eying off a couple more.  With the skin lesions removed by the effudix cream I do not want to stir things up again and it is a good excuse to go slightly crazy.  Hopefully I will trim myself down a bit or buying news clothes will be a waste of money.

Tomorrow I am off to the Apple Store in the city to try to unsubscribe from "Pigment" which is costing me $5.50 per week and I do not use it.  Every time I try to unsubscribe I get to the last bastion to pierce the inner reaches of my iPad and it demands a finger print and since it refuses to log me in that way it is not going to let me start unsubscribing stuff.  I have tried many times and eventually realised that it is going to be easier to get an expert to do it for me even if it means putting the technician's finger print there.  Hopefully whoever it is will have a registerable print.  I sometimes think that I should take up a life of crime  -  my finger prints are almost unrecognisable.

The Limerick:-

A society climber from Crewe
Inquired, 'What on earth shall I do?
I of course know what's what
But I fear I have not
The faintest idea of who's who.'

Monday, September 10, 2018

Thumbs up Mk 2

For anyone with arthritic thumbs and who is in despair because doing anything is so painful, my thumbs are now, after their injection of cortisone much better.  Not best; it would take a miracle but I can now pick up a 2 litre carton of milk without dropping it and no longer feel like Donald Trump when I drink a glass of water.

I don't expect it to last  -  that was never a given and google gave a timeline of three months.  The trouble is that it is almost impossible to 'save' the thumbs although five days of fairly severe pain taught me a few tricks to avoid aggravating them.

Spring is here and yesterday was a perfect day so I put on a pair of shorts and went for another walk in the park.  It takes me about an hour to get around the circuit and this morning I did the whole circumference of the lake itself.  I was able to get closer to the water but also close to the school boys playing on their sports fields which somewhat spoilt the peace although I would never grudge them their tennis.  This morning I saw a group of fluffy goslings.  Yesterday I only saw one and wondered what had happened to its siblings.

I have started knitting the purple possum sweater, not because I have finished the disposable one but because I have reached a place in that one where I have to keep an eye on the rows and that is not a good idea at the knitting group; we all talk too much and have all discovered that it is best to keep it simple or it all has  to be undone afterwards.

So now I am walking for an hour per day, meditating morning and evening and will be back to doing yoga this evening.  I am not sure if I can keep up the pace but maybe I will lose some weight and will dare to wear the black rubber chastity belt which I bought this morning to let in the sunlight and boost my Vitamin D levels.

The limerick:-

A young trapeze artist named Bract
Is faced by a very sad fact.
Imagine his pain
When, again and again,
He catches his wife in the act!

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Thumbs up.



Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and had my thumb joints injected with cortico-steroid in the hope that it would reduce the pain and make dropping things less likely.  I am not holding my breath but it is a last resort and I needed to go down that path to judge whether it will help.  My doctor and my knitting group are all waiting with baited breath for the results. I was told that it would be a few days before I noticed definitive improvements and the joints are still sore   Even typing hurts a bit when I hit the space bar but it is less than 24 hours yet.

Denied the opportunity to carry out activities which might stir up my thumb joints I went shopping and bought two pairs of light lace-up shoes for summer, looked in another shoe shop and realised that I was looking at a pair of shoes which were drastically reduced and were exactly the colour of my skirt  -  so I now have three new pairs of shoes for summer.

I am halfway up the sleeve which I am currently knitting using a pattern which is quick and easy and which I tend to   look on as disposable sweaters since they pill and then shrink when I wash them.  When I have finished  it I can start on the purple possum sweater which I will knit with the same pattern as the pink possum but will work out another modified neckline.

I intended to go for another walk  in the park but was unable to find either of my baseball caps.  There is a children’s clothing shop downstairs and they sell very decorative baseball caps so I went in and asked of their caps fit adults.  They are very adjustable so I bought a sequined one and intend to go back as they have a pink one with a cats’ face and ears  -  a must have so I will be going back again tomorrow for that one.  It can double as a ‘me too’ as well as keeping the sun of my face. (see my google name).



The latest limerick:-

A lady there was in Antigua
Who said to her spouse,'What a pigua.'
He answered,'My queen
Is it manners you mean?
Or do you refer to my figua?'

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Funerals are not Fun

Now that I have been forbidden to drive due to my deteriorating eyesight I have discovered that Karrakatta Cemetery is only three minutes away by train.  Two days ago I was sort of obliged to attend a funeral and not knowing which train to catch so that I didn't have to hang around for too long I used Transperth's Journey planner and discovered this useful bit of information.

Funerals are becoming a part of my life these days and I have lost a couple of my best friends already as well as my sister who died some years ago from smoking-related lung disease.  Don't go there  -  I know that it is hard to give up cigarettes but . . . .

Monday's funeral was for the wife of a second cousin, the couple being discovered during the course of my genealogical research.  I was asked by the said cousin's sister to compile a family tree of her mother's family and as she lives in Sydney it was all done via email and phone.  She provided the information and I provided the means to create the tree.

She emailed to let me know that her sister-in-law had died and said that she would be over in the west for two days and that if we were going to meet up it would have to be at the funeral  -  so I put on my Sunday best and turned up not knowing anyone except my cousins neither of whom I had seen for many years so I was not sure if I would even recognise them.  fortunately I recognised my cousin from Sydney but the husband of the woman who died had changed so much that I needed to have him pointed out to me.  Hopefully he will get back his vigour when he is rested; he looked after his wife at home right to the end.

The forecast was for storms that day but luckily the weather was kind and this morning I woke up to a gorgeous morning with clear skies and no wind so I decided to cross the railway line and take another walk in the park.  This time I went a bit further and reached a part which hadn't changed so much and I actually recognised the street I used to ride to work down.  All the building work is happening close to the railway line as an encouragement to take the train to work and leave the cars at home.  It was a lovely walk but next time I will take a hat as the sun was still low and very bright.

However, no sooner had I reached home when all the bad weather arrived and we have had freezing gale-force winds and torrential rain for the rest of the day.  I have had the heating turned right up and the cats have been sleeping all day in a furry bundle on their blankie.

Your limerick:

An indolent vicar of Bray
His roses allowed to decay.
His wife more alert,
Bought a powerful squirt
And said to her spouse, "Let us spray."

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

All Things Bright and Beautiful

At the moment I am on an extended health regimen, expanding on my almost daily bout of yoga.

D2 is currently in Bali learning Transcendental Meditation which brought to the forefront of my mind that I used to meditate regularly before I retired but had somehow let the whole thing slip.  However, I was taught well and slipped back into the routine very easily.  My mantra is not easily forgotten since it was once the word which I used almost more than any other and the rest of the routine of getting into a meditative state came easily, the only change being that I seem to be able to judge the amount of time I have been meditating better than I used to.  Once I used to surface after about 16 minutes  -  now I am doing the proper 20 minutes.

And spring has arrived here and for the last couple of days it has been warm and sunny so I decided that it was time I got back to walking regularly.  I need to lose a couple of kilos so the added exercise should help to shift it.  

Unfortunately we are back to winter today.


However, yesterday I decided to cross the railway line and see what had been going on since I last ventured that way.  When I was working I frequently rode my bike to work through this area so it was interesting to see what changes had been made.  I didn't recognise anything.  All the houses and shops have gone, taken over by large apartment blocks and construction sites which are leading to more large apartment blocks.

The golf course is still there  -  I think that it is the same one  -  but it has been transformed into a green velvet carpet,  extended by two playing fields belonging to one of the boys schools, and with shady trees and park benches and the swamp!!  It has been reinvented by an organisation called, I think, The Friends of Claremont aided and abetted by our 99 year old member of the knitting group who, along with others, has replanted the area around the swamp (now a lovely lake) with native creepers and flowering plants.  The area is fenced off at the moment but with the warm weather all the flowers are out and the ducks and swans are breeding undisturbed under huge, shady trees.

The whole place is stunningly beautiful and is about ten minutes walk away from my apartment and I intend to go back as soon as the current bout of rain clears.  And if I am in the mood  -  I passed three cafes just in case I need caffeine and cake.  Who could want more?

The limerick:

God's plan made a hopeful beginning
But man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the story
Will end in God's glory,
But at present the other side's winning.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Boomerang Drone Mk. 2

A couple of days I clicked on an advertisement from the company which sells cat drones because it was the  only way that I could find out the price.  Their ads on Facebook are very cagey about their prices, presumably in order for people to click to find out how much.  I didn't continue to a sale but a day later I received a Facebook message and took the opportunity to ask where my drone was as it is now a couple of  months.  I also told them that I had no  intention of buying anything else until the drone was in my hot little hands.  I was assured that it was on its way and was then asked for my name and email address which led me to suspect that they had no idea who I was.

I provided name, address and ticket number and was assured that I would receive it very soon so this morning I once again phoned Australia Post's Lost Parcel Department where I spoke to another cat lover (she has three cats).  She checked out the tracking number which placed my drone in Alexandria in New South  Wales and told me that the paperwork had arrived but the drone had not so I have left a message to that effect with the drone company.  One day  -  maybe . . .

We are having typical spring weather here  -  freezing winds and torrential rain one day and warm and balmy the next.  I even managed to scrub down my balcony before the rain set in again which was badly needed.  I have to bring all the furniture and plants inside before I can wash the floor down so it needs a fine day when everything will dry rapidly.  The dust from the highway up-wind of me combined with the grease from the hamburger place, the fish and chip place and the kebab place combines to create black grease which comes to roost out the front and needs to be both scrubbed and mopped with detergent or the cats trample it all inside.

I have almost finished knitting the first sleeve of the sweater which I am currently working on and am hurrying to finish it because my purple possum yarn has arrived and I am eager to start on the new sweater, this time with a shawl collar which, once again, will be drafted in from another basic sweater pattern and modified to fit as I did with the pink possum and its cowl neck.

This limerick was one of my mother's favourites so I grew up with it.

There was an old woman of Ryde
Who ate three green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside.

Friday, August 10, 2018

Purple Possum

Today my Purple Possum yarn arrived from New Zealand and now I have to work out what I am going to knit with it.  I have decided to make a sweater with a shawl collar and that is where I have run into difficulties:  there are not a lot of patterns around which feature shawl necklines.

I combined two patterns for the pink possum sweater and will have to do the same with the purple one.  When I first started spinning I knitted a home-spun, greasy, very bulky sweater which became my sailing outerwear.  The thickness of the yarn did not reflect the thickness of the yarn in the pattern and I worked on ratios and carried a small calculator in my knitting bag.  The sweater had a shawl collar and not only did I have to constantly calculate the correct number of stitches and rows but I managed to follow what now seems to be totally incomprehensible instructions.  So I have decided to start knitting that pattern again and hope that enlightenment will follow. 

At the moment I am trying out a pattern for a string bag since Western Australia is going plastic-less.  I promised to take the pattern to Knitting next week but thought that I needed to try it out before inflicting it on the group.  I have noted a few points, one of which is buy some good quality crochet thread rather than using string from Bunnings, and cast on using BIG needles and transfer to smaller ones after a couple of rows.  The pattern is easy and I may even use the bag although it is bulky with the Bunnings string.

We are still having it very cold by Western Australian standards and tonight the weather prophets are expecting the fourth snowfall on the Stirling Ranges.  I had my hair cut and styled yesterday only to get caught in a downpour on my way home.  Admittedly I had a showerproof jacket with a hood but the wind was strong and the rain crept in.

The Limerick:  (This one may offend;  sorry but I think that it is funny)

There was a young lady named Alice
Who peed in a Catholic chalice.
The Padre agreed
'Twas done out of need,
And not out of Protestant malice.


Monday, August 6, 2018

Boomerang Drone

The cat drone is once again on its way to entertain my cats.

Eventually, after much discussion with Australia Post, they confirmed that it had actually been sent back to the sender.  I contacted the sender and tonight I received an email to say that it is on its way back to us  -  but I had to pay extra postage which is fair enough; the mistake was mine in the first place.

And now there is another parcel, this time from New Zealand.  I finished knitting the pink possum sweater and like it so much that I have sent off for some more of the same yarn but this time the colour is amethyst. When I have finished knitting the amethyst sweater there will be enough combined pink and purple to make something meaningful as I have over-ordered.  With the pink it was because I didn't know how much I would need but this time I did it on purpose.

The lost parcel bit with this one is that when I received confirmation of the order my address lacked both state and postcode and as there are two places named Claremont in Australia it would be just my luck for it to end up in Tasmania.  I contacted the company in dismay and was told that the address had been corrected but it still lacked the State but did include the postcode.  I was particularly careful to fill in all the fields so I am not sure where the error came this time around.  Non mea culpa this time.

The weather continues unseasonably cold with gale-force southerly winds and horizontal rain but should start to warm up a bit tomorrow.  In desperation I hauled out my old blower/heater which I put away when the cats were young as the noise of the fan terrified than.  Now Parsifal has discovered that it creates a nice warm patch for him to sit on.  So it is now his newest best place to sit.

The limerick:

There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time;
When asked "Why the third?"
He replied, "One's absurd!
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

It was a Dark and Stormy Night . . .

. . . and for Perth, cold with gale-force winds and the threat of snow in the Stirling Ranges.  The wind is strong enough to make the double glazing flex and I would quite enjoy the storm if it wasn't for the fact that I have to be at the railway station at 9.40am tomorrow to keep a doctor's appointment. She wants to check on the skin on my face where I have been applying an ointment to get rid of latent skin cancers.

It has boiled down to a big one and a small one on my nose and two on my upper lip which are an extension of a carcinoma which was surgically removed many years ago.  I have another week and a half to go with the treatment and hopefully that will be the last of it.

I still haven't received my cats' drone and it has been boomeranging from coast to coast and on the day I was promised delivery it was delivered to the other side of the continent.  Mea culpa -  I neglected to put my apartment number on the order form but realised immediately I hit the 'send' button and have been chasing it up ever since.  

Australia Post said that they would retrieve the parcel, add the Apartment number and have it re-delivered but now it has gone back to the sender and the sender is not the company I bought it from but the shipping company which has no stake in getting it to me.  Australia Post doesn't have a very good record with parcels and I will need to be more careful in the future and especially not order anything on-line at 3.00am when unable to sleep.

But the good news is that what, in the 1960s, was a very superior and comprehensive deli which has morphed into a superior coffee shop and restaurant in Cottesloe is, according to the grapevine, coming to Claremont.  It is not as though we do not have an abundance of restaurants and coffee shops already but Vans is something special.

And the limerick:

There once were some learned M.D.s
Who captures some germs of disease
And infected a train,
Which, without causing pain,
Allowed hundreds to catch it with ease.


Friday, July 27, 2018

Postal Hide-and -seek

More woes with parcel post and this time it was my fault although I tried to correct it immediately.

I saw an advertisement on Facebook for a drone for cats and with Parsifal in mind I decided to buy one for my two cats so I clicked on the link and ordered it.  The order form was in a slightly unusual order and the Apartment number was the last field, which I neglected to fill having already given my address, phone number, email address, suburb, street number, and country.

As soon as I received the PayPay receipt I realised what I had done and emailed the suppliers with no response so all I could to was to wait.  I had the tracking number so when it arrived in my State with an email to say that it was undeliverable I contacted the lost parcel department of Australia Post and explained the dilemma.  "Not a problem" I was told, "We will find your parcel, add the Apartment Number and send it on to you."

Yesterday I received an email to say that it would be delivered that very day so I sat at home waiting for a ring on the door.  Nothing!  Back to the lost parcel department with all the relevant data only to be told that the parcel had been returned to sender.  So I have once again contacted the sender with my full address and telephone number and asked them to re-post the parcel.  Now we wait.

Other than that I have been doing not very much but busy just the same with appointments, coffee mornings, knitting afternoons and our regular lunch meet-up with colleagues from my old workplace as well as reading and trying to get ahead with the house-cleaning; not easy with the two cats and their constant shedding of black fur.  White cats would have been better but I guess that it is preferable to be able to see the fur.

I am also spending about an hour per day listening to The Rachel Maddow Show to catch up on the latest in American politics while I knit a sweater for myself,  Having finished the Pink Persian I am back to the quick Kimono pattern which is quick, easy and comfortable  -  and essentially disposable.

I am currently using an ointment which is supposed to highlight and then kill any as-yet-invisible skin cancers on my face.  I have a very red nose at the moment but I seem to have on the whole been very lucky as I have a fair skin; with freckles when I take off my spectacles.

Now a limerick:

If its management men you pursue
Don't hunt every beast in the zoo -
Just look for the signs
That say: "Tigers and Lions."
It isn't how many . . . it's WHO.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Pink Letter Day

This is just a quick post to record that I have finally finished the pink possum sweater which I have been knitting for what seems like ages.

I started sewing it up yesterday evening and finished it this morning  -  once again thanks to Rachel Maddow who exercised my mind while I exercised my fingers which are quite painful, especially gripping the tapestry needle as I dragged the tag ends through the seams to tidy up the inside.

Tomorrow evening D2 is hosting a birthday dinner for D3 and me which I am looking forward to.  It is  one of the few times when the whole family (except D1 who lives too far away) gets together and I get to see GB1 who prefers to spend his spare time on his flight simulator.  He has his final exams in a few months but I have been told that he doesn't need to pass an English exam in order to do what he wants to do after he leaves school.  I would have thought that it would be essential for anything which needs comprehension of instructions but . . .

This limerick and its predecessor which is now somewhat culturally inappropriate spurred a whole series on this subject. My spellcheck is screaming!

A wandering tribe, called the Siouxs,
Wear moccasins, having no shiouxs.
They are made of buckskin
With the fleshy side in,
Embroidered with beads of bright hyiouxs. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

That Which Was Lost and is Found

As predicted a couple of weeks ago  -  I have found my missing knitting needles so now I have a spare pair just in case  -  and the set of 3.25mm needles which I didn't have before.  Truly Sod's Law in action; not just the act of buying replacements but actually finishing the knitting of the sweater.

I have finished knitting the Pink Possum sweater but not yet sewn it up  -  the part which every knitter hates.  I'll do that during the week and if the weather is cold enough next Tuesday I will wear it to the knitting group.

Today is my birthday and everyone gave me socks of the warm and woolly variety so I have been obliged to wash the floor  -  not before time.  That is a horrible job which has become much easier with the variety of vacuum cleaners which I have managed to accumulate since moving into the apartment  -  almost seven years ago.  The tiles at first almost broke me but now I can sit and listen to Rachel Maddow and knit while my Samsung automatic vacuum cleaner does most of the hard yards for me so I that only have to do the mopping bit.

D3, who had her birthday yesterday, SIL and GB2 all came over and took me out for coffee and cake so I was energised for the floor washing bit and I took my neighbour's words to heart  -  "I just sort of slosh around with the mop".

This limerick is from Punch (1918)

There was a young man of Moose Jaw
Who wanted to meet Bernard Shaw;
When they questioned him, 'Why?'
He made no reply,
But sharpened an axe and a saw.

Sunday, July 8, 2018

One of the Wild Ones

I have spent the last few days searching out some of my distant cousins  -  the descendants of the brother of my only Irish forebears.  I can trace the family back to my great great great great grandfather whom I suspect emigrated to America since the family seems to have separated during the Great Famine in Ireland.  

The two brothers who landed in Australia set sail in 1841 and arrived in Sydney early in 1842.  My great something grandfather married in Sydney but his wife died in their second year of marriage  -  probably during childbirth as usually happened when a death occurs early. Multiple childbirth  is also dangerous for the woman and his second wife died aged in her mid 30s at the same time as her last child.

The older brother  first went to Queensland where he got into trouble with the police and where he married.  He and his wife produced seven daughters and I have been able to trace most of their progress  -  two of the daughters married the same man but the with second marriage the pair were 'full age'  -  a marriage term designating a couple who obviously didn't need their parents' consent.  This particular couple were in their fifties.

The brother continued to have problems with the police and is recorded as being gaoled for two days for drunkenness and once for theft but I need to go into the police records to investigate further.

One of the problems which I have encountered is that Australia was not a Federation until 1901, being a collection of individual states under The Crown and Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria were all a part of New South Wales, so do I designate the states as they were before 1901 or not? I suppose that ultimately is depends on people looking at my family tree and if they know Australia's history.

Despite the time and the different progenitors these cousins are really fairly close, being first cousins variously removed so maybe some will be unearthed by DNA testing although, so far, I haven't discovered anything new from my DNA.  It hasn't told me anything I didn't already know and most of my supposed cousins do not have family trees so there is no way of discovering any new family that way.

This Limerick takes a bit of unscrambling but is fun anyway:  It was written by Monsignor Ronald Knox.

"Knox once persuaded an unwary newspaper editor to run this 'classified advertisement":

Evangelical vicar in want of a portable second-hand font, would dispose of the same for a portrait (in frame) of the Bishop-Elect of Vermont.

Monday, July 2, 2018

Drones 'R Us

I found an advertisement on Facebook today advertising drones for cats so I have ordered one for Parsifal.  He is too intelligent for his own good and being forced to be an indoor cat creates problems.  He will not walk on a lead so I can never take him further than out into the passage and that only happens when I take the rubbish to the chute down at the other end.  Since there is rarely anyone there to meet and greet, that has lost its charm for him.  Perhaps I should try him in his harness again so that I can take him for walks.

Not that anyone with any sense would be out walking today.  There has been unremitting heavy rain all day and I felt so sorry for the courier who delivered parcels for a couple of us.  It is sheltered around  the mail boxes and he would drive a van but would be constantly having to climb out into the downpour.

Back to the cats:  Poppy seems to do most of her active stuff I the middle of the night and I only know this because her toys move around when I am not watching but Parsifal needs more distraction.  He was bored with the red dot as soon as he discovered that it was uncatchable and his main exercise comes from chasing pingpong balls, which he expects me to bounce for him, and toughing up Poppy who can give as good as she gets but would really prefer to be alone.  She does rather annoy him by sniffing his butt, though.

Since the drone seems to do its own thing  -  hopefully I am not going to be obliged to drive it  -  it could keep the cats entertained and even tire them out.  Dream on . . .

Today's limerick:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.