Euphemisms

I have been battling euphemisms for most of my adult life as I believe in facing up to the truth except when a little white lie will make someone in distress feel a bit better.  This all came to a head for me when my mother-in-law said to my husband, "I see that Tony has gone away."  I was about to ask her where Tony had gone when I realised that Tony was dead.  She didn't even use the commonly used  "passed" or "passed away".  Gone away?  Honestly?

Anyway, I saw a euphemism yesterday which, I think, takes the cake.  There was an advertising sign downstairs in the arcade which read, "Cosmetic Injectables".  Interpret it as you will  -  I read it as a pointing to a place where I can get Botox enhancement on my very doorstep.

I promised not to head this entry into my blog as Limericks Mk 4 but I am happy announce the arrival of "The Great Australian Book of Limericks".  Yes, it has some very unprintable limericks but the book is divided into sections, starting with absolutely clean to utterly obscene with varying degrees in between.  There is even a whole section in "The Dirty Section" called "Bums and Blow-offs" where I would probably find my often-mentioned flatulent nuns.  The final section is labelled "The Really Filthy Section" with sub-sections titled Various Sexual Practices and Shocking and Shameless.

Some are tried and true favourites which I have come across online and in various books so I will try not to repeat myself  -  but some are worth repeating which is why I keep on tripping over them.  The one below is from the Introduction chapter.

The Limerick:-

The limerick is furtive and mean;
You must keep her in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.